Hello, all! This is my third post, and although the past two posts i've made have been pretty lighthearted, I'd like to address something a little bit more serious in this one.
I am here today, writing this post, because of another person. Kelsey Fireheart, a fellow twizard, recently posted a very heartfelt, inspiring, and amazing story of how she grew to be the person she is today through the little game we call Wizard101. The story made you both sad and happy, but in the end it did something very important... it inspired you. I will now share my story.
A lot of us have started playing Wizard101 for different reasons. Some of us started because it looked like a fun little game, others found it through a friend, perhaps you started because you found it similar to another MMO. Regardless of how you first came across the game, we all fell in love with it because we found something we thought was very special. However, in my case, it was an escape. This is a very hard topic for me to talk about because it's something that i've held close to my heart for a very long time. I don't share it very easily. The one person i've told is one of my closest IRL friends. But because i've known this community for a very long time I will now share it with you. It doesn't matter if you just joined this community or if you've been here for 5 years, I am sharing this with
you. The twizard community was a very big part of my life during the period of time that I am about to talk to you about, it helped me and it changed me. I am thankful for that. So, if you're a part of this community then you are special to me, and this is for you.
I first came across the game through a commercial that was aired on TV back in 2010. It immediately spiked my interest but I didn't create an account until months later. When I finally did decide to create an account, I couldn't stop playing. I played for hours, created many different characters, and after another few months of playing I finally decided to buy a subscription. Around this time, I was in middle school. Middle school, to say the least, was a time where I was the least happy I have ever been. It was a time where my self esteem was at an all time low, and the people around me were not making it any easier. When my self esteem was already low, people seemed to enjoy tearing it down even more until someone who I barely recognized was left.
Honestly speaking, back in middle school I was a very weird child. I was awkward, I didn't have many friends, and I wasn't someone who you could easily strike up a conversation with. However, it seemed that this was somehow the "okay" signal for everyone to hate me and tear my happiness away. I was treated very badly by other students, I was called names, I was insulted, I was humiliated, and the person who I thought was me was taken away. And, you know what the worst part of this was? I thought I deserved it. Why? Because the way people treated me for so long somehow told me that there was something wrong with me, that they were right to treat me that way. I hated going to school. It was something I couldn't escape, and it was something I had to face everyday. During this time, you know who was there for me? Or... more like,
what was there for me? A little game called Wizard101 and a community that called themselves the twizard community.
During my first few years in the twizard community I didn't talk much. I didn't easily find the words to communicate with fellow players, although I tried. I really did. Sometimes my lack of response was because I was afraid anything I would say would be wrong. Because at the time when I was supposed to be learning how to make friends and how to socialize, the complete opposite was happening. Basically, I didn't have any social skills, which actually created some very funny stories I will tell you later in this post.
One of the biggest names I remembered being called is "rat". I was leaving school one day, minding my own business, thinking it was one of those rare, okay days, and suddenly I heard a few of the students I knew yelling at me across the hallway. "Rat", they were yelling. Not very nice. My heart sank, but then again, I was used to it. Later, during another year, I was called "Goofy." One of my peers had come up to me and said that I reminded him of Goofy from Micky Mouse. Again, it's not something a girl, who's confidence is at an all-time low, wants to hear. After this event took place, like always, everyone else followed along with what this person said.
For now, this is all I want to share about hurtful events that took place. I don't want to remember any more, it's hard for me. I hope you understand.
There was a time, towards the end of middle school, that I started gaining some confidence. So, I went up to one of my biggest aggressors, and I asked "Why do you hate me so much?" I thought that maybe I had dome something to him that I didn't realize. Maybe I was in the wrong, maybe I was the problem. His response was simply, and I quote, "If you want to know why I hate you so much, then look in the mirror." Yep, confidence officially destroyed. Someone call Bob the Builder because this is something he can't fix. This made me sad, but my day had already been destroyed by someone else. For three years, everyday, constantly, more than once, I was told very hateful things. It was a very bad time. Still, I had my escape.
Whenever I got home, whenever I had time, during weekends, during breaks, all summer long I played this game. I interacted with some of the nicest and most supportive people I have ever met. Questing, meeting new people, listening to Ravenwood Radio, going to the Ravenwood Ball, attending PvP parties, doing so many fun things made me forget about the world where I was the unhappiest and it brought me to a world where I was the happiest. So, thank you, to you reading this. Now, I don't want to end this on an unhappy note, so I will tell you a bit about my life now.
I can honestly say I am happy now. Before high school started I mentally prepared myself for the worst, but instead I got the most amazing memories i've ever made. Slowly, during freshman year, I started to make friends that made me laugh, friends that cared about me, that built me up rather than tore me down. Then, sophomore year I joined Debate, an extracurricular activity that you could compete in. I continued to make more friends, I started to be more outgoing, and my confidence started going up. Now, during Junior year, i've gained the most confidence i've ever had. I have plenty of friends, I met one of my closest friends, I was voted Vice President for an Honor Society, I talk nonstop, and i've grown. At some point during these years, I left the community for a bit. Although i'm sad I did, it allowed me to grow so that I could come back now as someone I could be proud of and as someone who was happy. So, another part of me is glad I did.
Other Positive Things that Happened Because of W101:
1. My spelling got a lot better because of the filter that W101 had in chat.
2. My vocabulary improved. (My teacher once complimented me for knowing what an Obelisk was. He said I was the only student, in years, who had answered correctly. Thanks, Krokotopia!)
3. I type a lot faster!
4. I am taught some semi-accurate History.
5. I met other people who liked the same things I did.
A Message From Me 2 You:
1. If something is happening to you that is making you unhappy, let someone know! Tell a teacher, a parent, a friend, anyone! You need to get help because it does get better. But you need to be courageous and take that first step to reach out because the people who care about you may not be aware something bad is happening to you. Speak up! Contact me, if you'd like. Just talk to someone.
I say this, because although I was unhappy during a period of time, I know that there are people out there who have gone through much worse. I know it's hard to speak up, because i've been there. But it's something you need to do. Please do.
2. If you have a story of your own, any advice you'd like to give, please share it! Someone out there may need it. Of course, only do this as long as you feel comfortable sharing it.
3. The person that inspired me to write this was Kelsey Fireheart. You can find her on twitter as @KelseyFireheart. I definitively recommend you read her blog post, it was really moving. You can find it here: http://starsofthespiral.blogspot.com/2016/01/how-did-wizard101-change-my-life.html <--- Click it!
Some Funny Things:
The fact that middle school made me socially awkward did bring some funny stories.
1. One time, I was at Walmart and I was just cruising through life when a man came up to me. He asked, "Excuse me, ma'am. Do you know where the chips are?" I did know where they were..... but I panicked and I walked away without saying a word. I felt bad, haha. But he was talking to me, and my interaction skills weren't very good, and I panicked so I left. Oops.
2. I was doing a summer engineering program, called PREP, and I met this girl there. She was nice, so we started talking. For a while we just talked about regular things like movies, shows, and hobbies we liked. Then, she asked me what my name was.... my response was, "I don't know." We started at each other for a bit. I moved on without saying a word. I PANICKED OK.
I LOVE YOU, YOU BEAUTIFUL PERSON YOU!
